I’ll always be with you.

I was at a quilt retreat this weekend. For those of you who have no idea what that is, it’s when a group of quilters get together and rent out a venue and eat, drink, sew, and laugh. I had a great time with friends who take good care of me (even when I’m sick!). I got a couple of things accomplished, (wish I had done more, but whatever.) and started some new things.

At the end of the retreat (which was in beautiful Kennebunk, ME) a group of us walked downtown and crossed the bridge into Kennebunkport to do some shopping. Our first stop was Maine-ly Drizzle which is a lovely little shop filled with an amazing assortment of Balsamic vinegars and olive oils. The peach balsamic was pretty great (did I mention you can taste them?!?). After Maine-ly Drizzle, I asked my friends if they would like to go to Abacus. Tom and I loved to take trips to Kennebunk/Kennebunkport and one of the places we always stopped at was Abacus. We both loved the art (and I loved the jewelry). Such fun and funky pieces! So when we walked into Kennebunkport, it seemed natural to go into Abacus.

I was in there for about 10 minutes when it hit me. All I could think of was Tom and how we would wander around the store and he would say things like, “you could make that!” And then the tears started. As I tried to get myself under control, I saw a plaque with this written on it,

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together…there is something you must always remember.
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.”

Then I really lost it.

My friend Susie, noticed me (she always seems to know, it’s a gift she has) and came over and gave me a hug. I pointed out the plaque and she said it was Tom showing me that he was with me. Now I don’t know that I necessarily believe that, but it was comforting. When I got home I needed to google the quote, because there was no author written on the plaque. Turns out it was from Winnie the Pooh, which was one of Tom’s most favorite series of books. Maybe Susie is smarter than I realize.

This grief process really sucks. I’m muddling through it, but it still sucks.

That is all.

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